Truth 1
Narcissists have a massive sense of entitlement. They expect to be served. They feel they deserve it. They feel they can take something if they want it, such is their right. Anything that does not go their way feels like an injustice, they see themselves as a victim in all such cases. They are never at fault or accountable for anything.
Truth 2
Narcissists are 100% completely selfish and self-centered. They do not do things unless it benefits them and their self-serving agenda. No matter how convincing the dog and pony show is, it is all smoke and mirrors, there is a self-serving selfish purpose behind it. No exceptions.
Truth 3
Once you understand the first two truths you will realize that any effort a narcissist puts forth will be for their personal gain and agendas. They will not expend any unnecessary effort on anything where such an effort is not required for this purpose. Such energy would be by definition for the benefit of someone else not for themselves.
Truth 4
They suffer from distorted possessive thinking patterns which lead to objectification and dehumanization of others. In other words, other people are seen as objects, possessions, or toys to do with what they will. Their purpose is to serve them. They do not attribute any kind of humanity to them or recognize that they have their own individual rights and needs.
Truth 5
They are incapable of forming healthy trust/intimacy bonds with others. They know themselves to be untrustworthy and project that onto others as well. The concept of trust is simply not something they can grasp hence part of their need to control and manipulate everything.
One of the other answers talks about Ellinor Greenburg’s white knight narcissist. You will not hear of this anywhere else. That is because it is a bunch of shit. My ex is a psychopath. She is the most trustworthy, empathetic, and caring friend anyone can hope for no matter who you might ask. Does that mean she is not a soulless blackhearted demon underneath? No. Did she destroy my life and that of my family? Absolutely. Even this week though she found out I was sick and offered to bring me soup. If I lent her $10 I am fairly confident she would pay me back.
My point is there is no white knight narcissist. By definition and the truths I mentioned they will be trustworthy so long as it is in their best interest and serves their self-serving agenda and helps with impression management.
The second that ceases to be the case they will stab you in the back and ruthlessly destroy everything about you without a flicker of remorse or regret.
Narcissists are NOT trustworthy. Because they appear reliable even over a long period of time still does not make them trustworthy. It simply makes you lucky that you have not become a target or an obstacle. Do not confuse the two.
This white knight narcissist that gets their satisfaction from helping others is a bunch of crap and buying into it makes you vulnerable and makes it even harder for you to accept the cold hard truth you need to. These days medical professionals would rather romanticize the abusers and disordered people while trying to make a name for themselves than accept the truth like the rest of us and God forbid write more about the abuse and damage they cause and spread some awareness on that.
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